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Saturday, October 9, 2010


A neighbor today told me today "You never get break huh? From your kids.." I just laughed and said that "I am away from them during the week when I am at work and once in a while I have weekend meetings and conventions that I go to.. at the end of the day.. I miss them .. one day they are going to want to be with their friends and not me.. so I cherish the time I have with them ...although after they are in bed.. I indulge in a glass of wine now and then .. hahahahaha"

I take this time to say that parenting at times is overwhelming and I am not perfect. .. by no means .. I cry to Mom sometimes .. but I have some processes that soothe me when this "Single-Mom"-thing gets too crazy.. (sidebar: I am not a professional but I am a mom.. and I will only talk about what I have already done .. repeatedly...)

1. Take a deep breath..

2. Have the boys go in their room for a little while, sometimes I cook (the process soothes me), sometimes I make coffee/tea (the aroma calms me down), and other times I call a friend and talk about things other than my kids...

3. LAUGH .. I know this may sound crazy but it really works because it makes you think twice about what it was that you were sad/mad/frustrated about in the first place ...

 I remember that one day a friend of Darion asked him "Do you even have a Dad?" It actually didn't phase Darion as much it devastated me..

Later that evening I cleaned like a mad woman, I called a friend, I took a bath... and I still couldn't get that situation out of my head.. but.. I stopped for a second and just smiled ( I couldn't laugh just yet) .. I thought about anything positive about the situation and you know what? Darion answered and confidently said "Yes I have a Dad .. I just don't see him very often"....

I had always spoken to him about the situation and made sure he explored his feelings and we had each other, we even have a name for our "family unit" : The Fantastic Three .. we made a family crest... we have a weekly family meeting in which anything that is discussed can't be punished or shared with the outside world ... we have a day in the month where we do things backwards (i.e. have breakfast for dinner .. eat dessert first.. so on and so forth)

We aren't conventional and the boys don't have a grown-up male companion in their life.. but we have each other .. and in those frustrating/sad/mad times .. I remember that the situation that made me feel the way I feel is only temporary.. but the bond I have with my boys is for a lifetime and worth every single minute ...

insert LAUGH here


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