Ritalin or not... that is the question...

Here is another serious one folks. One of the things that I love so much about blogging is that I can write about whatever I want and I know that this next one may have some people definitely talking and ultimately that is important because we should always be able to look at each other’s point of view and agree to disagree.

My son is about to be six and he was in kindergarten last year and he didn't do very well academically. He is so amazing in his social development but when it comes to paying attention, well... let's just say he is not always there.

I have been worried about his development since he was one. He was in speech therapy at that age. I had to quit my job because it was daily therapy and Darion (my oldest) was also going through some health issues as well. I wanted to make sure that they both got the medical care that they needed without having to schedule it with my job (as I am currently doing).

Fast forward to these past few weeks. I was told my son's teacher that he was still not where she wanted him to be this year in kindergarten. He is still not focusing enough and spaces out quite frequently. I have always kept it in the back of my mind that one day I may to consider Ritalin for him because his dad has ADHD and had to take Ritalin in elementary school 

His pediatrician has been advising Ritalin for about a year and half and I have staunchly refused because I worried about the side-effects that it may have for him, not only short-term but long-term as well. I have tried regular exercise and I changed his diet but none of these has seemed to work, I have gotten her (pediatrician) to hold off on the finality of medicating him but I am worried if this will also be a bad decision if he can't keep up with his classmates academically.

Their dad said that he stayed on it for a couple of years and that the drug helped to control himself to a point where he didn't need it anymore, but... drugs react differently in everyone. Here are some articles I found helpful:


More side-effects

If you are seriously considering medication here is a guide to might help you find the right medication.

I wish I could tell you that I knew what I was going to decide. Medications scare me and I love the way Jaden looks at the world, I don't want to take that away from him. Parenting decisions are often fraught with the hard choices and what makes it worse is that your choices will affect your children for the rest of their lives. I am not an absent parent; I work with both of my sons as much as a single working parent can. I got to all the parent meetings, special events, and very rarely go out without them. I say all that because there are so many people that would like to blame the absent parent for the academic demise of the child, however in this case it couldn't be further from the truth. Their academic, emotional, and over-all well-being is of the utmost importance to me. My children truly are the best presents that I have ever received. I am unbelievably blessed to be able to call them "mine".

With that in mind, I am in no way saying that drugs are the answer but what I am saying is that they are not a decision to be made out of frustration and we must try other alternatives 9even if they inconvenient for us) first before we, as parents, think about taking that step. I encourage you to take some breathing room, go for walk on your own, pray, meditate, and be calm when making this kind of decision. Surround yourself with a supportive team (i.e. teacher, doctor, friend, grandparents) because this road is not easy (parenting alone is hard enough) and make sure that all of you know all the side-effects and other pertinent information.

I am not a doctor and can in no way give anyone advice. I strongly advise that you get second and third opinions from pediatricians before making this kind of decision. Sometimes even a change of school may be in order because let’s face it, some kids learn differently in an environment that they either don't feel comfortable in or one in which they don't.

Lastly, if you haven't, spend one on one time with your little one, sometimes that extra attention really helps. Parenting is a crazy journey, but it has been rewarding in the best of times, and never boring at the worst of times. :)

Back to my basics..

One of the days that I dread every year is the first day of school. One reason for this is because I usually feel extra guilty because I can't stay for all the morning like a lot of the stay at home moms. I wish I could spend more time with my boys and the first day of school is my first reminder that I am missing so much of their life and they just keep getting older... *sigh*

This year my oldest son started the third grade and my youngest started kindergarten. I am so overwhelmed by how much they have grown (both literally and figuratively) in just a year. In November my youngest will be turning six and it is crazy that just six years ago I was pregnant for the second time.

I am not sure why but this year has really made me reminisce on where I was when I was pregnant with Jaden. I found myself pregnant in Minot, North Dakota, all alone. My husband left us and I had no job, in a town where I had no family. To say that I was scared was an understatement. I was not new to being alone and pregnant because when I was pregnant with my first child he was deployed to Iraq. However, this time I was faced with my worst nightmare: being a single parent, for the rest of their lives.

Just thinking about this time in my life makes me feel so incredibly sad and I wish I could go back to just tell myself that I would eventually come out of it, no not that everything would be okay, but that I would not always be that broken person in the mirror..

I have always been incredibly blessed because in my life there has been full of people that have stepped in to be exactly what I needed at the time. Surrogate moms, incredible friends, and strangers that have offered immense help in some very troubling times.

I say all of this because of the MANY opportunities that having a blog has opened for me I had forgotten that one of the reasons I started a blog in the beginning was to get my story out, I don't know if would want to call it my virtual diary .. but it was to be a way for me to say a little bit of what went on in my head and also maybe help someone not feel so "alone" in a situation that may mirror mine.

Be encouraged, stay focused, you are not alone.

Love (hugs),
Bere

Jorge and me ...

I had a big wish when I was little girl-- I wanted a pet. Not just any pet, I wanted a pet monkey just like "Curious George". I would sit for hours reading about all of his escapades and laugh and dream that I was right there with him, like when he painted animals on the wall of an apartment or when he helped a chef "cook" spaghetti.. he was one of my dearest childhood friends (along with Ramona Quimby .. but that is a story for another day).

That is why when I got the opportunity to write about the upcoming BRAND NEW season of Curious George that premieres on Labor Day (This Monday!!) I was very excited. I got the materials to review during the week but I have a very strict policy of no TV during the week (yes.. I know that sounds crazy .. but hey.. believe me it pays off) we hunkered down to watch the episodes yesterday.

You will not be disappointed as a parent because you already know that if it's on PBS it is educational but they have outdone themselves with these shows because they are not only educational they are exposing the children to the wonders of the arts.

He delves into an auction, goes to an opera, reads a map, becomes a detective, sculpts,and  takes pictures. Also, George's Latino friend Marco is back! Those episodes are scheduled to re-air the week of September 19th in celebration of September being Hispanic Heritage Month.

Thankfully, my boys and I have always made it a point to go to museums, watched live performances online (we can't really afford to go to the opera at the moment) but man .. because we can't go to some of these things just seeing them and being exposed to them has made my kids think that they can create anything. They have some AMAZING imaginations (maybe I am bragging a little.. but I would say this even if they weren't my kids).. they have created spaceships, oceans, ships, and armies all with comforters and paper. I love shows that don't just entertain my children because I want the time that they do watch TV to feed them ideas not zap those ideas out of them.

I used to let them watch TV while I cooked and they would be like little zombies in front of the TV and when I would ask them what they just finished watching they would just talk about kids on TV hitting each other, or making jokes that I thought were kind of inappropriate, but when I drew the line was when my EIGHT YEAR OLD SON who weighs 40 pounds soaking wet said he didn't want to wear sweaters anymore because they made him look fat. I didn't want to just haul the TV out and leave it on our front door (okay.. maybe a little) but knew that I had to be more vigilant about what they were being exposed to and decided to limit the TV time they were having.

When I was growing up I loved all of the cartoons from PBS and that I learned a lot from their shows and so I had my kids watch all my old favorites. They were hesitant at first missing their old shows (I let them watch those every so often) but all in all they are in love with the PBS line up and I love that they are actually learning something.

The PBS family also wants our kids to be more involved in the arts and so sometime in February Curious George will be having their very first DANCE CONTEST!! Parents will be able to submit videos of our little ones dancing to the Curious George theme song and those videos will be posted on the Curious George website. One lucky monkey will be awarded a special prize (my boys are practicing now.. :-)

We had a ball watching the season yesterday and I believe that your kids will learn so much and maybe will be inspired to get out there and be creative just like our friend : Curious George!!

Here are some videos and links -- Enjoy!

Please visit the Curious George website for updates and more info: http://to.pbs.org/CG_thearts

 

 

All pictures and videos are courtesy of: Curious George® & © 2011 Universal Studios and/or HMH. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PBS KIDS (R) Public Broadcasting Services

August was STOLEN!!

Yes readers, I was robbed. Somehow August has come and (almost) gone. What has happened this month you ask? Well, I attended my very first BlogHer, went on my first business-vacation with the boys, helped my mother move, helped her pick out appliances for her new place, attended my very fist CONCERT (SADE!!), and am giving my very first "virtual" Spanish classes to a very bright and funny little girl.

I have tons of free time right? (Did I forget to mention my migraines are back due to wonky dental work done back in March... ouch)

Well with that said there is more .. so much more that I am working on, I am researching some things for two more blogs that I will be debuting soon and am finish up another HUGE project. After all is said and done my original blog has suffered :( .. so I am sharing this with you now .. I will be turning thirty next year on March 7th and I have slowly been making some changes in my life:

1. I refuse to feel guilty for doing things that I love. (i.e if I want to go to a concert and dinner by myself and treat myself to dinner.. I will do so)

2. I have cut out my beloved soda from my diet (5 days a week.. :)

3. I will not apologize for things that I have to do for the well being of my children or myself. (Yes there are definitely some feelings that will be hurt)

4. I will NOT allow myself to become a pushover because I want to be nice to everybody (more on this at a later date) -- this has gone on for TOOO long and I refuse to go into my thirties being labeled as such.

5. I will love myself first.. (NO.. this doesn't mean that me being a Mom is not one of the most important and beloved roles that I play) I can't make anyone happy if don't spend some quality time with myself and really come to love who I have become.

Those are my top five -- but there are quite a few more..


I  have really missed my readers and some of the emails that I have gotten from you guys make my day .. seriously.

Please tell me what changes you would make today (email or comments would be awesome!)! Until next time: Be inspired today .. because tomorrow is another chance at happiness and adventures -- meet it with a smile!

Mojitos and Tacones

 Anytime that I get ready to go out I never have a clue what I am going to wear! Since I was leaving from work, cooking dinner, supervising showers for the boys, and dropping them off all BEFORE getting ready I knew that I had to just go with a fail safe outfit (peep-toe pumps, jeans, and cute top), and hope that my hair would cooperate for the dryer. 

Thankfully the boys and my hair cooperated and I was headed to LA Live. I have been there once before to eat at the Yard House (which has some awesome food by the way) but I had never been to the Conga Room. When I got there I was greeted by the wonderfully efficient Mariluz. She totally made me feel like a total VIP!! Look at the room they arranged for us!

Monique, Leslie (and her gorgeous prima), Cynthia, Teresa and I were treated to an awesome time. We hung out for a while (the mojito was great!), chatted and took pictures. Let me tell you, this venue is amazing just look at the floor (whoever designed this place did an amazing job):

*Sigh* -- Look at this view!!

When Tito El Bambino came on the whole place went crazy!! He really is an amazing performer (it does help that he is rather cute :p)..

I am so glad that I was able to meet some amazing ladies and hang out in a gorgeous venue... the entertainment was the icing on the cake for this overworked chica ;) ... sometimes it takes a night out to give you the boost you need to handle the rest of the week; I needed this.. thank you Conga Room!!

Coming up at the Conga Room:

SALSEROS--- Eddie Santiago will be there Thursday, August 18, 2011

Disclosure: AdventuresofThree received complimentary entrance,however, this is not a sponsored post.  

Drive-ins, babies, and wizards...

When my second child was just a baby I was living in Trotwood, OH. Things were so hectic; I was trying to finish my bachelor's degree, taking my other son to preschool, and trying to find a job. I couldn’t believe that I was a single parent. Just the year before I was living in Minot, ND, was married, and had on my figurative rose-colored glasses. What a difference a year made! 

Darion (my oldest son—8 years old going on 40) and I had already started our love affair with movies. He wanted to see the movie “Ratatouille “ that had just come out but because I had no babysitter, not a lot of money, and I was randomly searching Google that night; I discovered that there was drive-in alive and kicking about 10 minutes from where I lived. That was perfect because we could take a restless baby with us, they only charged per car not per person and since it was during the week it was like $8, and most of all it was something I had always wanted to try.

I am not kidding when I say that that was the one of the most memorable nights of my life (as well as my son’s – he still remembers it). Maybe it was a combination of a night of being able to just relax, a warm evening, beautiful skies, and being able to share a “first” with both of my boys. We saw “Ratatouille” and the boys loved it (the baby just cooed and gurgled but hey, he didn’t cry). What I didn’t know was that you could watch two movies for the price of one (yes, legally)! This particular double-feature was joined by “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”. 

That is when Darion and I began our obsession with the young wizard. I had never heard of the books let alone the movies and I was ready to dismiss this movie but Darion said he wanted to stay. Before the movie came on we got to walk around for a little bit. This drive-in was in the middle of a field and could you believe that there were actual fireflies amidst the cars?! I was stunned by the beauty of the huge screen and how it blended with the breeze of the fields and the fireflies that would carelessly fly around us. I had a car with a sun-roof so we got to glance up at the stars as well. *sigh*

By the time Harry Potter actually began, the baby was fast asleep and it was just me and my buddy. We hadn’t been able to spend any one on one time since the baby had arrived so we were pretty psyched about watching a movie together. The movie resonated with both of us for different reasons and to this day is still our favorite movie. 

I enjoyed it because it was definitely something that I would have enjoyed as a kid. Also, since I didn’t know my biological father I identified a little bit with a little boy that hadn’t know his parents. Darion loved it because he liked to imagine that with magic he could make his world “perfect” again. He asked me for the first time that night “Why did Daddy leave?” That movie gave him the courage to ask something that he had probably been wondering for over a year. (More on this particular conversation later..)

We went home that day dazzled by the new world that we were introduced to and listened to all of the audio books over the next couple of weeks. We are so excited about watching the end of the series this weekend but it will definitely be very bittersweet.

Vaccines: Are they really necessary?

It’s one of the moments that every new parent dreads “the first shots”. The first time was definitely the hardest because I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know that I should give my baby Tylenol about a half hour before the shots. I also didn’t know that if you massage the area immediately after the shots it helps the muscles not hurt as much later. My first-born was left to his devices and I was left a nervous wreck asking the pediatrician the following:

Are they really necessary?

Can immunizations cause Autism?

By the last question I was near tears (I blame the post-pregnancy and breastfeeding hormones. The experienced doctor told me to just take a deep breath. She told me that it is VERY important for children to get their immunizations not just for their health but that of other children as well and that it is just a myth that vaccines can cause Autism. 

I won’t say I was relieved but her answers helped. It got progressively better to take him to get the rest of his shots throughout the years and I found that by keeping up with his regular checkups the nurses usually kept on top of when I needed to bring him in for his shots. 

Upon researching the CDC website I learned that when the boys are teenagers they can even get a shot for the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), although since this is spread through sexual contact just the thought alone that I will one day be looking into this for my boys starts giving me a mild panic attack! 

Here are some links for those lucky parents of teens to look into in regards to HPV. (I was pretty surprised that it was even offered to boys!)

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/who/teens/index.html

 
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/who/teens/for-parents.html

Disclosure: This is a sponsored blog post.