Budding flowers...

Many of you may not know but I had a birthday this month. Yes, I can actually admit my age (it is for a good cause I believe), I have turned 30! This has been an incredibly emotional year for me for a variety of reasons: New Job (which I love), New position within an organization that I consider like a family, possibly going back to school soon, the list goes on (there are a couple of personal ones that I feel deserve their own post)....

Reflections: A while ago I took the picture above at night at my son's school. I started to think about the many times that I didn't allow myself to "bloom" because I was too scared of rejection, anxious about regretting decisions later, and so on. HOWEVER, what has struck me the most is that something internal happened to me when I turned the big 3 0 ... I stopped caring. I no longer care about what others think of me, why? Well, I have finally realized that I have pushed on through some pretty crazy times... I am pretty doggone strong and resilient and I don't need the approval of any person that seeks to put me down or criticize me.

Lessons: I am very grateful  there were MANY people that have been like guardian angels, at the right place and the right time to help me through some really rough spots. I have full faith in that if you stay ready, come prepared, and never treat people in a malicious manner, you will come out okay.This year, and for the years to come, I am excited about: taking chances, believing in myself, taking time to "smell the roses", and not allowing negative comments derail me from my goals.

What have you learned as you have gotten older/wiser?

~
Bere

Back to my basics..

One of the days that I dread every year is the first day of school. One reason for this is because I usually feel extra guilty because I can't stay for all the morning like a lot of the stay at home moms. I wish I could spend more time with my boys and the first day of school is my first reminder that I am missing so much of their life and they just keep getting older... *sigh*

This year my oldest son started the third grade and my youngest started kindergarten. I am so overwhelmed by how much they have grown (both literally and figuratively) in just a year. In November my youngest will be turning six and it is crazy that just six years ago I was pregnant for the second time.

I am not sure why but this year has really made me reminisce on where I was when I was pregnant with Jaden. I found myself pregnant in Minot, North Dakota, all alone. My husband left us and I had no job, in a town where I had no family. To say that I was scared was an understatement. I was not new to being alone and pregnant because when I was pregnant with my first child he was deployed to Iraq. However, this time I was faced with my worst nightmare: being a single parent, for the rest of their lives.

Just thinking about this time in my life makes me feel so incredibly sad and I wish I could go back to just tell myself that I would eventually come out of it, no not that everything would be okay, but that I would not always be that broken person in the mirror..

I have always been incredibly blessed because in my life there has been full of people that have stepped in to be exactly what I needed at the time. Surrogate moms, incredible friends, and strangers that have offered immense help in some very troubling times.

I say all of this because of the MANY opportunities that having a blog has opened for me I had forgotten that one of the reasons I started a blog in the beginning was to get my story out, I don't know if would want to call it my virtual diary .. but it was to be a way for me to say a little bit of what went on in my head and also maybe help someone not feel so "alone" in a situation that may mirror mine.

Be encouraged, stay focused, you are not alone.

Love (hugs),
Bere

August was STOLEN!!

Yes readers, I was robbed. Somehow August has come and (almost) gone. What has happened this month you ask? Well, I attended my very first BlogHer, went on my first business-vacation with the boys, helped my mother move, helped her pick out appliances for her new place, attended my very fist CONCERT (SADE!!), and am giving my very first "virtual" Spanish classes to a very bright and funny little girl.

I have tons of free time right? (Did I forget to mention my migraines are back due to wonky dental work done back in March... ouch)

Well with that said there is more .. so much more that I am working on, I am researching some things for two more blogs that I will be debuting soon and am finish up another HUGE project. After all is said and done my original blog has suffered :( .. so I am sharing this with you now .. I will be turning thirty next year on March 7th and I have slowly been making some changes in my life:

1. I refuse to feel guilty for doing things that I love. (i.e if I want to go to a concert and dinner by myself and treat myself to dinner.. I will do so)

2. I have cut out my beloved soda from my diet (5 days a week.. :)

3. I will not apologize for things that I have to do for the well being of my children or myself. (Yes there are definitely some feelings that will be hurt)

4. I will NOT allow myself to become a pushover because I want to be nice to everybody (more on this at a later date) -- this has gone on for TOOO long and I refuse to go into my thirties being labeled as such.

5. I will love myself first.. (NO.. this doesn't mean that me being a Mom is not one of the most important and beloved roles that I play) I can't make anyone happy if don't spend some quality time with myself and really come to love who I have become.

Those are my top five -- but there are quite a few more..


I  have really missed my readers and some of the emails that I have gotten from you guys make my day .. seriously.

Please tell me what changes you would make today (email or comments would be awesome!)! Until next time: Be inspired today .. because tomorrow is another chance at happiness and adventures -- meet it with a smile!